A Letter to them thats shouty

Dear shouty folk,

You keep going around all creation and being shouty
and I end up covering my ears and I see your shouty face but hear nothing.

You shout at just about everyone and everything including family, friends,
some animals and your car and traffic and the telly and people on it
and a little slug the size of a baby thumb and you shout at underpants and crayons
and fish just because they the fish don’t wear T-shirts or something like that and your face is always in a state of disgust like this;

1. Frown
2. Raise your head cheeks (the right cheek should be raised a little more)
3. squint your eyes
4. smile but don’t bend the sides of the mouth upward, keep them straight
5. That’s your mardy head all the time

And you know what’s really happening and you said so ages ago
and you tell people again when they didn’t hear you the first time because someone else had an opinion and it cut through your ‘see I told you so’ stuff…
so you actually repeat it to get the full recognition you deserve and will it ever stop no I don’t think so but then again.

And you do this to each other –
‘No YOUR a knob’
‘No YOUR a knob’ and point a finger toward your interlocutors face
and scrunch your own face up as in 1 to 4 above and I used ‘knob’ with a k
because my mummy might be watching and also ‘interlocutor’ for the same reason.

And you shout for about 4 days on social media and you cack on and on then talk about
the fact that at least you give a toss about everything to actually
call someone a knob and god help us and jesus christ I wish you didn’t give a toss.

And you pick targets that are literally the size of a planet made from bisuits
or you use a flamethrower to catch a blind fly in a wheelchair or you go around and around in a revolving door for a billion years and occasionally shout ‘I don’t believe it’ or you go on the Mad-Mouse in Blackpool
and try and talk sense to the woman in the buggie behind you
who’s screaming her teeth out or you do a frown face as in 1 to 4 above.

Or you look at me because you want confirmation that your pissed offness is warranted – well guess what:
IT”S NOT!!!! Not everything warrants your mardy face.

You’re reading one side. You’re seeing one road.
You’re caught in a trap. You can’t walk out.
Because I love you too much

They are all wrong, no matter which side you’re on and your
particular paper ‘The Daily Bias’ said so and you feel all the better for it.

You’re all wrong
No, you’re all wrong
No, YOU”RE all wrong
No, go back to your disillusion planet
No, YOU go back to the 70s
No, you go back to being a lolly

He took money from ‘Elvin Tremendous’, the Flax seed magnate.
Yes but Elvin was his Father and it was money for a bonnet for
his best friend ‘Putin le’Pepper’ who was six and her parents have an ironic sense of humour and are you following this?

And 3 thousand years back you had dinner with Len Smalls
the guy who now owns ‘Bubblewrap for Cows’.
Well, you said something nice about Ged O’Creamy the Westboro Baptist T-Shirt Tycoon.
No I didn’t.
Yes you did… and here’s THE LINK!!! AHA!!
HO HO … That’s Fake I was saying something nice about Barry Gibb
and someone cut in a pic of Ged O’Creamy…
I know you is but what am I?

If you give a flying fuck, source your bullshit to the endth degree
and if you can’t get to the endth degree i.e the truth about Kevin,
then why are you clogging up the airwaves with it?

Stop it. Or we all chip in and buy our own planet called ‘Planet For Non-Bullshitters who seldom use 1 to 4 above’ and we have a waste bin for vitriolic
epithets so that we can get to the point.

Actually good vitriolic epithets are fun in the mouth of an expert.
But experts are too few.
Know why your not an expert? Because you source what you already agree with!!!!

You source what you already believe! FOR FUCK’S SAKE! IT”S SCREAMING AT YOU SO LOUDLY!!
We actually hate that guy or that woman because they truly believe a certain credo?
We HATE them?
Or are these just words? Are we using hate in the fun sense?

And then you say, ‘I know what you’re going to say’.
Jesus!! – now you can chew on my opinion and spit it out before I get chance to even taste it.

I wish it were all so simple. But it ain’t.
It’s complex. And shitspraying everywhere with a biased opinion sourced from a biased opinion just makes a crock of shit out of the whole shebang.

Plus, you keep quiet about your shares in the ‘Marimba Weekly Magazine’ and check the share price against Shell Oil on a weekly basis.

It takes effort to get into the opposite opinion…
It takes even more guts to see at least some of the points of that opinion.

But jeez it’s an effort worth making in a land of the shouty.
And they’ll get mad and try to shouty you into silence.
Have none of it.


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